A Collection of Terrible Ads
One of the most confusing things about this section of Craigslist is how blatantly false it all is.  You might see an ad saying "looking for a movie buddy" but then tacked on the end is "m4w" which in Craigslist speak means "man seeking woman." The section of the website is called "strictly platonic" which is the Craigslist equivalent of that guy who says he just wants to get to know you but then pours drinks down your throat until your friends have to carry you home as he nips after like a Yorkie. ANYWAY, here is a collection of ads that are clearly not "Strictly Platonic"

The Blatant Disregard for Strictly Platonic


Looking for a female SEXTING partner. that is all. Im attractive so you should be to..or have some ASSets that are. Thank you :)

Whoa.  What the fuck?  Why did he need to All Caps "Sexting?"  did he think somebody would misread it as "Texting?" Its pretty clearly not, and speaking of all caps lets address the grammatical disaster that is the next sentence.  "Im attractive and you should be to..." That clause is confusing.  Isn't the whole point of sexting that you don't have to be attractive? Like you just have to be good with your abbrevs and your emoticons.  A well placed winky face can turn any text into a sext. "or have some ASSets that are."  Alright King Pun.  We get it.  He probably thought that was really clever. But in reality its not.  Aren't we all attractive BECAUSE of our assets?  If somebody has attractive assets, they are in fact attractive.  And then he ends it with a thank you and a smile just like an Applebee's waiter.

The Confusing


I'm a 41 year old single guy looking to see if I emailed you my pic would yall give me a good rating on my looks.....I been having dating trouble over the last few years and want to see if my looks are a problem...Put "AMERICA" in your reply to avoid spam

What?  I don't even understand this one.  He's looking for people to tell him he's attractive.  As if he will then prove some larger point to the world.  Like if a girl turns him down he would show him a collection of emails from random people on the internet, therefore convincing him that she shouldn't turn him down because of his looks and should turn him down because of his weird need for validation.

The Full On Creepy

I NEED YOUR HELP!
And maybe you need mine? I'm a guy with a very high sex drive and I'm not meeting my needs right now so I'd like to find someone to help me out with that. Do you get where this is going? 
You help me I help you. Pain an simple.
I'm real and CL it's full of spammers so to avoid them put your favorite movie on the subject line. 


This is the completely opposite of strictly platonic.  This is strictly sexual.  What the hell is this guy even thinking?  I feel like he wrote this while masturbating.  He's not meeting his needs??? "You help me I help you."  I don't think he wants to help anybody.  Also was "Pain and simple" an intentional typo?  Or is it creepy code.  I don't know.

I'd love to hear from you if you are asian, hispanic or white. Though I do love all ladies. 


I'M GLAD YOU DON'T DISCRIMINATE ASSHOLE